Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, & Questioning Issues
Heterosexism: the belief that only heterosexuality is “normal”
Homophobia: the fear of any association with homosexuality.
Homoprejudice: term to articulate that anti-homosexual responses lie primarily in the realm of prejudice.
Wingspan Domestic Violence Project.
Abuse and Violence in Same-Gender Relationships. (revised February 2000)
Rape in the LGBTQ Community:
Studies vary and insufficient research has been done on how prevalent rape within the LGBTQ community is. One study in Psychological Reports found 31% of lesbians and 12% of gay men had been raped. However the study did not indicate the gender nor sexual orientation of the assailant.
Although most men who are raped are raped by homophobic straight men and most women who are raped are raped by men, rape also happens within same-gender relationships and is a serious reality.
Issues Unique to the LGBTQ Community:
While it is important to acknowledge the diversity within the LGBTQ community, there are issues of common concern arising from homophobia, heterosexism, and homoprejudice:
- Not being “out” which may make silence seem the only option.
- Fear that police/medical/counseling and other resources will not be sensitive to LGBTQ issues.
- Lack of awareness of same-gender rape both within and without the LGBTQ community.
- Fear of others’ disbelief; of appearing disloyal or destructive to the LGBTQ community; of people “taking sides.”
- Internalized homoprejudice which may complicate the emotional aftermath of rape.
- For gay/bi males, the fear of not being believed and ridiculed because of the stereotype of men never rejecting a sexual opportunity.
- For lesbian/bi women, the fear of not being believed because of the widespread belief that “women don’t do that sort of thing.”
UCSC Rape Prevention Education. “Rape within the Queer Community.” 2000.
Battering has long been one of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community’s nastiest secrets. In some ways, violence in same-gender relationships resembles violence in heterosexual relationships.
Similarities:
- Violence can be physical, sexual, emotional, psychological, or verbal.
- The purpose of abuse is to get and maintain control and power over one’s intimate partner.
- The abused may feel isolated, terrified, and debilitated by the violence.
- Abuse does not happen all the time, it often occurs in a continuum.
- Unpredictable attacks are a part of the tyranny.
- The victim/survivor may feel as if s/he cannot do anything right.
- Domestic violence can be lethal.
- The myth persists that abuse is a relationship problem and may be mutual.
- Perpetrators of abuse may work as advocates for victims, or take on other high profile political or professional work and hide the terror they wield at home.
- Some research shows that violence within LGBTQ relationships occurs at the same rate as heterosexual relationships, one in four.
- Race, class, religion, politics, education, and professional or social status do not indicate whether or not abuse will take place in an intimate relationship.
- Financial dependence may be a major factor when assisting victims.
- A sense of entitlement exists among perpetrators; they believe that they have the right to empower themselves by disempowering others
- Abuse in the home severely impacts the children living in that home, whether or not they are the direct recipients of the abuse.
- Substance abuse may make domestic violence more dangerous and damaging, although is not the cause of the abuse.
- North Dakota domestic violence statutes cover lesbians and gay men due to the broad definition of “family or household member.” This definition includes virtually everyone in some type of close relationship either currently or in the past. It specifically covers “persons who are in a dating relationship.” (ND CAWS, Legislative Summaries, 2)
In other ways, however, violence in same-gender relationships differs from violence in heterosexual relationships.
Differences:
Lesbians and gay men who have been abused have much more difficulty finding support.
- The isolation that already accompanies being an LGBTQ person in a society prejudiced against LGBTQ people, is compounded and made worse by domestic violence. The silence about domestic violence among LGBTQ people further isolates the victim/survivor as well as the perpetrator.
- Utilizing existing services may be tantamount to “coming out” which is a major life decision.
- Support services and friends often minimize domestic violence:
– The lesbian, bi and trans women’s community does not want to betray or destroy the myth of safety in a “Lesbian Utopia.”
– The battered women’s movement avoids the fact that women can be as violent and dangerous as men.
– It is assumed that two men in a fight constitutes a fight between equals.
– GBTQ men often reject the idea that they can be victims within their own community.
– We often assume that the size of a person or the role s/he may favor is a determinate of who may batter.
- LGBTQ people approach most shelters, social service agencies, and providers with great caution. Their fear of further victimization through minimizing or disregarding their circumstance remains, along with fear of rejection and degradation.
- While battered LBTQ women may choose to use shelter services, there are no residential shelter services for GBTQ men in many areas of the state.
- Sometimes a presumption exists that the domestic violence LGBTQ victims/survivors experience is sexually stimulating.
- North Dakota’s LGBTQ community is small. Privacy is often difficult to maintain. In all likelihood both the survivor and the abuser may lose their privacy, be “outed” or become the subject of gossip.
- The risk of losing their children to third parties is even greater for lesbian and gay couples when domestic violence in involved.
- Victims may not be as financially dependent on their partners; and children may not be a consideration as often.
Resources: State Organizations
Dakota Outright
GLBTQ Voice of Central and Western ND
Equality North Dakota
Address: PO Box 5222, Fargo, ND 58105-5222
Phone Number: 701-388-9227
[Equality North Dakota Website]
Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) Chapters
Central Dakota PFLAG
Address: PO Box 2491, Bismarck, ND 58502
Phone Number: 701-223-7773
Web: [PFLAG Website]
Fargo-Moorhead PFLAG
Address: P.O. Box 10625, Fargo, ND 58106-0625
Web: [Fargo-Moorhead PFLAG Website]
Grand Forks PFLAG
Address: 3210 Cherry Street, Grand Forks, ND 58201
Phone: 701-775-4447
Web: [Grand Forks PFLAG Website]
Resources: National Organizations
Wingspan Domestic Violence Project
300 E 6th St
Tucson, AZ 85705
(520) 624-0348
The Survivor Project (for Trans and Intersex survivors of domestic violence)
10 NE Fargo #2
Portland, OR 97212
(503) 288-3191
[The Survivor Project Website]
Anti-Violence Project (New York City Gay and Lesbian Anti-Violence Project)
240 West 35th Street, Suite 200
New York, NY 10001
(212) 714-1184/ TTY (212) 714-1134
[Anti-Violence Project Website]
The Network for Battered Lesbians and Bisexual Women
P.O. Box 6011
Boston, MA 02114
(617) 695-0877
Suggested Reading on Violence against Lesbian, Bisexual Transgender & Questioning Women:
Berrill, K.T., Herek, G.M. (1992). Hate Crimes: Confronting Violence Against Lesbians and Gay Men. California: Newbury Park. Sage Publications.
Chandler, T., Taylor, J. (1995). Lesbian Talk: Violent Relationships. London. Scarlet Press.
Evans, Patricia. (1992). The Verbally Abusive Relationship. Massachusetts: Holbrook. Bob Adams, Inc.
Feinberg, Leslie. (1996). Transgender Warriors. Massachusetts: Boston. Beacon Press.
Lobel, Kerry. (1986). Naming the Violence: Speaking Out About Lesbian Battering. Washington: Seattle. The Seal Press.
Leventhal, B., Lunday, S.E. (1999). Same-Sex Domestic Violence: Strategies for Change. California: Thousand Oaks. Sage Publications.
Panzarino, Connie. (1994). The Me in the Mirror. Washington: Seattle. The Seal Press.
Pharr, Suzanne. (1988). Homophobia: A Weapon of Sexism. California: Inverness. Chardon.
Renzetti, Claire. (1992). Violent Betrayal. California: Thousand Oaks. Sage Publications.
Compiled by the LBT Team of the Campus Violence Prevention Project Tufts University Women’s Center, Medford, MA
