WHAT MEN CAN DO

Be aware of language. We live in a society in which words are often used to put women down. Such language sends a message that females are less than fully human. When we see women as inferior, it becomes easier to treat them with less respect, disregard their rights, and ignore their well-being.

Communicate. Our discomfort with talking honestly and openly about sex dramatically raises the risk of rape. By learning effective sexual communication, stating your desires clearly, listening to your partner and asking when the situation is unclear, men make sex safer for themselves and others.

Speak up. When your best friend tells a joke about rape, say you don’t find it funny. When you read an article that blames a survivor of violence for being assaulted, write a letter to the editor. When laws are proposed that limit women’s rights, let politicians know that you won’t support them. Do something, just don’t remain silent.

Organize. Form your own organization of men focused on ending violence against women and join efforts with your local violence intervention programs.

Work to end others oppressions. Rape feeds off many forms of prejudice. By speaking out against any beliefs and behaviors, including violence against women, that promote one group of people as superior to another and deny other groups their full humanity, you support everyone’s equality.

Support survivors of violence. In the United States alone, more than 1,500,000 women are raped or physically assaulted by an intimate partner each year. By learning to sensitively support survivors in their lives, men can help both women and other men feel safer to speak out and let the world know how serious the problem of violence against women is.

Contribute your time and money. Rape crisis centers, domestic violence agencies, and men’s anti-rape groups count on donations for their survival and always need volunteers to share their workload.

Talk with women about how the risk of being assaulted affects their daily lives; about how they want to be supported if it has happened to them; about what they think men can do to prevent violence. If you’re willing to listen, you can learn a lot from women about the impact of violence and how to stop it.

Talk with men about how it feels to be seen as a potential rapist, about the fact that 10-20% of all males will be sexually abused in their lifetimes; about whether they know someone who has been raped. Learn about how sexual violence touches the lives of men and what can be done to stop it.

*Adapted from Men Can Stop Rape.