Violence – Power and Control (Physical, Sexual)

Using Intimidation

• Making her afraid by using looks, actions, gestures.
• Smashing things.
• Destroying her property.
• Abusing pets.
• Displaying weapons.

Using Emotional Abuse

• Putting her down.
• Making her feel bad about herself.
• Calling her names.
• Making her think she's crazy.
• Playing mind games.

Using Isolation

• Controlling what she does, who she sees and talks to, what she reads, where she goes.
• Limiting her outside involvement.
• Using jealousy to justify actions.

Minimizing, Denying and Blaming

• Making light of the abuse and not taking her concerns about it seriously.
• Saying the abuse didn’t happen.
• Shifting responsibility for abusive behavior.
• Saying she caused it.

Using Children

• Making her feel guilty about the children.
• Using the children to relay messages.
• Using visitation to harass her.
• Threatening to take the children away.

Using Male Privilege

• Treating her like a servant.
• Making all the big decisions.
• Acting like the "master of the castle".
• Being the one to define men’s and women’s roles.

Using Economic Abuse

• Preventing her from getting or keeping a job.
• Making her ask for money.
• Giving her an allowance.
• Taking her money.
• Not letting her know about or have access to family income.

Using Coercion and Threats

• Making and/or carrying out threats to do something to hurt her.
• Threatening to leave her, to commit suicide, to report her to welfare.
• Making her drop charges.
• Making her do illegal things.