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Spring 2002 |
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CREATING A CLIMATE FOR CHANGE BEGINS WITH… |
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KINDNESS |
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What it is… |
What it isn’t… |
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– support
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– pressure |
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– consideration
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– disregard |
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– compassion
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– disinterest |
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– understanding
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– judgment |
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RESPECT |
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What it is… |
What it isn’t… |
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– esteem
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– contempt
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– appreciation
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– scorn |
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– honesty
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– manipulation |
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– equality
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– inequality |
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INVOLVEMENT |
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What it is… |
What it isn’t… |
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– interest
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– indifference |
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– attention
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– neglect |
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– inclusion
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– rejection
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– connection
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– separation |
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Kindness is
Catchy . . . Grab It! |
| Love
Is… |
Love
Isn’t… |
Responsibility
Hard work
Pleasure
Commitment
Caring
Honesty
Trust
Communication
Sharing
Compromising
Closeness
Vulnerability
Openness
Respect
Friendship
Recognizing Differences |
Jealousy
Possessiveness
Pain
Violence
Obsession
Being selfish
Cruelty
Dependency
Giving up yourself
Intimidation
Scoring
Fear
Proving Yourself
Manipulation
Control
Power |
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What Can You Do ? |
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Get involved with school and community efforts to end
violence in relationships. |
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Encourage organizations that you participate in to sponsor
educational workshops for youth and adults on date rape,
sexual harassment and domestic/dating violence. |
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Encourage your school to begin a comprehensive program to
educate students on violence prevention. |
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Be
a role model. Do not support the stereotypes that
encourage dominate-submissive relationships. Model kind,
respectful behavior. Speak up when others are being
treated disrespectfully. |
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Seek professional help or counseling if violence exists in
your family or relationship. |
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Encourage others around you in violent relationships to
seek help. |
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What Is Violence? |
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PHYSICAL: Any use of
size, strength, or pressure to hurt or control someone
else. |
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Physical contact between people – pushing,
slapping, biting, choking, grabbing, shoving, pinching,
kicking, pulling, burning, shooting, stabbing,
restraining, forced sex, banging head on wall, abuse of
animals, hair pulling, murder |
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Use of object – throwing things, breaking personal
items, driving recklessly, punching walls, threats with
objects |
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Use of size or presence – chasing, stalking,
clenching fists as a threat, standing in the doorway to
prevent exit |
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VERBAL: Any use of
words or voice to control or hurt another person. |
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Threats to kill, threats to use violence, accusations,
name calling, yelling, insults |
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EMOTIONAL: Any action
or lack of action meant to control or hurt another person. |
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Controlling access to money, intense jealousy, isolating
from friends and family, threatening to leave the other
person, threatening to end friendship, threatening
suicide, ignoring, laughing at you, manipulation with lies |
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Assertiveness Techniques |
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Reduce your
chances of being a victim of violence |
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Assertive Body Language
Includes: |
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Body posture –
standing straight, tall, and erect gives a stronger,
direct and clear message. |
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Facial
expression – The expression on your face should match your
verbal message. When saying “no”, let your face match the
verbal message. |
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Eye contact –
Eye contact makes the verbal message stronger. Look
directly at the person to whom you are speaking. |
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Verbal Assertive Skills
Include: |
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Say “NO” –
Actually say the word “NO” rather than using weaker
phrases such as “I don’t think so.” |
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Speak firmly –
The way you say “NO” or the way you refuse makes a
difference in whether you are taken seriously. A firm
statement is more effective. |
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Avoid excuses
– An excuse is a passive response. |
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Be repetitive
– Repeat a “NO” statement several times. |
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Use I
statements – Statements using the words “I” put the other
person less on the defensive than using the words “you”
when saying “NO.” “I” statements help people to say “NO”
at difficult times. |
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Refuse to
discuss the matter further – After utilizing other
techniques, if the other person refuses to listen to you,
you have the option to refuse to discuss the matter
further. |
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April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month |
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Did you
know: National Statistics on Teen Rape |
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The National
Center Reports that over 700,000 women are sexually
assaulted annually. Of these, approximately 61% are under
the age 18 (AMA, 1995). |
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The National
Women’s Survey of 714 adult women found that 32.2% had
been raped between the ages of 11-17 (National Victim
Center, 1992). |
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Women between
the ages of 16 and 24 were three times more likely to be
raped than women in other age groups. (Harlow, 1991). |
North Dakota Statistics on
Teen Rape
(compiled by NDCAWS/CASAND, 2000) |
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57% of all
sexual assault victims reported to the 19 sexual assault
crisis centers throughout ND were under 18 years old at
the time of their victimization. |
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428 teens
sought services from sexual assault crisis centers
throughout ND. |
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TOGETHER
WE CAN WIPE OUT SEXUAL ASSAULT! |
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INTERNET SAFETY |
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Some things to
think about. |
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Keep your
identity private. |
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Use a screen
name instead of your real one (even when you go into chat
rooms). |
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The person you
are talking to could be a 49 year adult pretending to be a
teen. |
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Never meet
face to face with someone you met online. |
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Don’t give out
your password to anyone online. |
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If you feel
uncomfortable in a chat room or anywhere online, get off
the computer and tell someone. |
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If someone is
asking you to do things you are uncomfortable with, tell
an adult. |
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Facts on Sexual
Harassment |
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Sexual harassment is a serious problem |
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Males and
females experience sexual harassment regardless of their
appearance, age, race, marital status, or socio-economic
class. |
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Even though a
person may not speak up if they are being sexually
harassed, sexual harassment hurts. |
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If you think
something is sexual harassment, it probably is. |
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In a North
Dakota survey, 83% of boys and 93% of girls reported
experiencing sexual harassment in their school. The most
frequently report was student to student harassment. |
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The types of harassment
students reported included: |
| sexual
remarks |
gestures |
| touching
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propositions |
| jokes
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Directly or
indirectly, sexual harassment is humiliating and degrading
to everyone. |
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Harassers are
very likely to be harassing more than one person at a time
or have a history of sexually harassing others. |
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Remember, no
one deserves to be sexually harassed. |
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Adapted from
Reaching and Teaching Teens |
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Everyone can do
something to reduce
and stop sexual harassment.
Speak up when you know
sexual harassment is happening. |
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Working Together to Create Safe Schools |
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Be an example
to other students by showing respect for others in your
school. |
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Settle
arguments with words, not fists or weapons. |
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Report crimes
or suspicious activities to the police, school
authorities, or parents. |
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Learn safe
routes for traveling to and from school, and know good
places to seek help. |
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Don’t use
alcohol or other drugs, and stay away from places and
people who do. |
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Get involved
in your school’s anti-violence activities or look at
helping start them. |
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You have
the power to make a difference, use it! |
